Life or Lives

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Crater Lake, Or

Some days I’m unsure whether I should accept circumstances- or fight them. Is it time to give up on living ten lives? And instead live one or two?

So many places I want to go. So many jobs I want to master. So many lifestyles left unexplored. Physicist, biologist, anthropologist, animal conservationist, science teacher, book writer, travel writer…when is it time to give up? Β Or do I keep barraging myself? Criticizing myself for not being able to make definite progress in any one field. Instead, feeding all interests, simultaneously, ineffectively.

Why is there a burning inside me? One that won’t go away unless I’m fantasizing about the day that I have achieved all these goals?

I don’t want to give up… I want to fight. How much longer will I be able to fight, I wonder.

about author


I'm the mother of a 1 year old, a wife, and a anthropology grad living in Beijing.

22 Comments on "Life or Lives"

    I’ve experienced the same.

    My path of peace was to decide to be exceptionally good at one thing while pursuing all the others as avocations.

    Now I get to learn and write about everything I’m interested in, while having a focus that keeps me grounded (and pays my bills.)

    This sounds like a solid way to go about it. I’ll have to think about which one I’m exceptionally good at and go from there. Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it.

    …and which one makes you happy. Be exceptional at something that makes you happy…at least that’s been a good path for me.

    Rachelle – you have a burning passion for excellence and adventure! Never ever give up on your dreams…never and for no one…take life and live it to the fullest…
    Nice photo of Crater Lake..I was raised in Klamath Falls and very familiar with your area.. My career was with the Klamath County School system…your in a good place at U of O..learn and fly young lady there are no limits to what you can do and accomplish…none!

    Wow that is cool I had no idea you were raised close by. Were you a teacher? I love oregon and all the beauty. Thanks. I will try not to give up. I appreciate your encouragement. U of O is great, ya. I’m happy to be here.

    I was a WOU, then U of Calif, then Portland State… Yes I was a teacher, principal, then Director of Curriculum/Instruction/Technology…then I retired and consult nationwide in many schools…lately it has been Alaska…great in the summer…harder in the winter…you have touched my heart…I really want good things for you…really!

    I found ‘The Artists Way’ s great 12 week workbook for channelling my creative spark into the directions that make me feel the most fulfilled, it helped me heal some old wounds and outdated ideas about how I was ‘supposed’ to live and encouraged me to consider what I really love to do. You don’t need to be an artist in the traditional sense, it is a book about creativity in all its forms.

    Chase all of your passions, kid, but don’t get hung up on just one unless and until you know that it may be your calling. On that note, most people don’t get a calling, as some would say. When we are young sometimes we are programmed to think there is going to be that one thing that resonates inside us and will launch us out of bed in the morning with renewed passion every day and, for most of us, that never happens. You are not your job. Employment is just a way to pay the bills…and buy plane tickets…and camera gear…and paid vacation. Take any and all opportunities for employment that comes your way. Eventually, your passions will catch up with your other day-to-day struggles. You mentioned in one article how active and vital elders are in other countries. Getting older is only a sign of maturity. I am fifty and just spent a week kayaking solo in the Gulf of Mexico. I climbed several mountains last year. I will climb several mountains this year. But I have a job that pays well, a ton of time off, and an employer that understands that I need to occasionally get as far out as possible. Chase all of your passions and something will shake out. The fire burns bright in us and sometimes makes us yearn for meaning so much that it can be painful. Meaning is not found very often in ones job. Just let it wash over you like a wave and run on! It’s all part of the great adventure. The key thing is not to get paralyzed. When in doubt take the next step, whatever that is and whatever direction that may be and then the next step will be clear. Run onGirl!

    Hey, I feel exactly like you. I’m always thinking about the places I wanna go, things I want to do… And I also feel what people say “lost” because I used to love my profession, as a journalist, but after working for three years, I can’t anymore. I’m not satisfied. The good thing is that I’m knowing myself more and now I think we are not made to do only one thing in life. At least not me. That’s bad for society, but is good since I realized that. The world is full of possibilities and the best thing is not giving up on fighting for our dreams. πŸ™‚ Sorry about the bad English. By the way, I’m from Brazil.

    Hey Lays..I agree. I don’t think we are meant to do just one thing in life. There are so many potential jobs we could love. And your english is fantastic, really. Nice to meet you πŸ™‚

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