The Great Wall may be one of the most overlooked wonders of the world. Standing on the wall- tucked away high in the mountains- the last time I felt this way I was peering down at the Grand Canyon. What surprises me most about the Wall is how falls on the peaks of mountain ranges. How hard it must have been to construct a wall extending hundreds of miles supported only by the steep slope of a mountain…
Moments that leave me in awe- they are the worth living for…As long as I remain perceptive of all the different forms of beauty and what comprises them.
1) Graduate from college
3) Fall in love
4) Get married
5) Have a baby
The route I have taken:
2) Fall in love
3) Have a baby
4) Graduate from college
5) Get married
There is no one right way to live our lives. We figure things out along the way. And if I wouldn’t have traveled while going to college, I would’ve never met the most perfect person (for me) to spend my life with. We would’ve missed each other.
Him from Kenya, me from the U.S, met in Taiwan at a 7 week english summer camp. I’ve never been more happy in the presence of another person, and I have a lot of factors to thank for our meeting. One of which, the most powerful one, is my own choices, my own free will in life that I can exercise at any given moment.
Previously trapped in a horrible relationship, I have the freedom to remove myself. Needing healing and insight that cross-cultural experiences can give me, I have the freedom to stand up and walk into a plane headed for Taiwan.
What I received in return: the love of hundreds of students, the love of new friends, the love of the person I’m going to marry, and the love of a culture I had no previous awareness of. All of this I lacked before I left. All of it I gained in 7 weeks.
Society may instill in us from an early age a blueprint for living our adult lives. But the blueprint I’ve followed is a different one. An outsider might look at my 5 steps and think that I made poor choices. And yet the choices I’ve made have given me so much happiness and gratitude for living. What is a wrong choice? I think a wrong choice is one you make to please other people, instead of assessing your own needs and acting accordingly. We know what truly makes us happy- we are the only ones who know this secret.
How can I condemn my choices if I am self- directing my life? If I love myself, if I love my nature, I will expertly guide it to the fuel it needs for contentment, to the people/ places/ ideaa it needs to be exposed to. Sometimes this is accomplished by picking up a book. And sometimes it’s accomplished by picking up my entire life- transporting it to a new all-compassing bubble of direct, stimulating, foreign ways of thinking.
Whatever I do to improve myself, when the work is finished, contentment is found here. . . in a mind full of gratitude and self-love.
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.
-Henry David Thoreau
Evidence of this is seen simply within my body: my heart, my breath, my blood…they are all working as a unit, for me to survive. My meaning and my objective is to live a fulfilling, happy life and to die humbly and graciously, thankful for the opportunity to witness something so beautiful and complex.
Some days I’m unsure whether I should accept circumstances- or fight them. Is it time to give up on living ten lives? And instead live one or two?
So many places I want to go. So many jobs I want to master. So many lifestyles left unexplored. Physicist, biologist, anthropologist, animal conservationist, science teacher, book writer, travel writer…when is it time to give up? Or do I keep barraging myself? Criticizing myself for not being able to make definite progress in any one field. Instead, feeding all interests, simultaneously, ineffectively.
Why is there a burning inside me? One that won’t go away unless I’m fantasizing about the day that I have achieved all these goals?
I don’t want to give up… I want to fight. How much longer will I be able to fight, I wonder.