Tag Archive : traveling

1) Graduate from college 
2) Travel
3) Fall in love
4) Get married 
5) Have a baby 
 
The route I have taken:

1) Travel  
2) Fall in love
3) Have a baby
4) Graduate from college
5) Get married

There is no one right way to live our lives. We figure things out along the way. And if I wouldn’t have traveled while going to college, I would’ve never met the most perfect person (for me) to spend my life with. We would’ve missed each other. 

Him from Kenya, me from the U.S, met in Taiwan at a 7 week english summer camp. I’ve never been more happy in the presence of another person, and I have a lot of factors to thank for our meeting. One of which, the most powerful one, is my own choices, my own free will in life that I can exercise at any given moment.

Previously trapped in a horrible relationship, I have the freedom to remove myself. Needing healing and insight that cross-cultural experiences can give me, I have the freedom to stand up and walk into a plane headed for Taiwan.

What I received in return: the love of hundreds of students, the love of new friends, the love of the person I’m going to marry, and the love of a culture I had no previous awareness of. All of this I lacked before I left. All of it I gained in 7 weeks.

Society may instill in us from an early age a blueprint for living our adult lives. But the blueprint I’ve followed is a different one. An outsider might look at my 5 steps and think that I made poor choices. And yet the choices I’ve made have given me so much happiness and gratitude for living. What is a wrong choice? I think a wrong choice is one you make to please other people, instead of assessing your own needs and acting accordingly. We know what truly makes us happy- we are the only ones who know this secret.

How can I condemn my choices if I am self- directing my life?  If I love myself, if I love my nature, I will expertly guide it to the fuel it needs for contentment, to the people/ places/ ideaa it needs to be exposed to. Sometimes this is accomplished by picking up a book. And sometimes it’s accomplished by picking up my entire life- transporting it to a new all-compassing bubble of direct, stimulating, foreign ways of thinking. 

Whatever I do to improve myself, when the work is finished, contentment is found here. . . in a mind full of gratitude and self-love.

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Crater Lake, Or

Some days I’m unsure whether I should accept circumstances- or fight them. Is it time to give up on living ten lives? And instead live one or two?

So many places I want to go. So many jobs I want to master. So many lifestyles left unexplored. Physicist, biologist, anthropologist, animal conservationist, science teacher, book writer, travel writer…when is it time to give up?  Or do I keep barraging myself? Criticizing myself for not being able to make definite progress in any one field. Instead, feeding all interests, simultaneously, ineffectively.

Why is there a burning inside me? One that won’t go away unless I’m fantasizing about the day that I have achieved all these goals?

I don’t want to give up… I want to fight. How much longer will I be able to fight, I wonder.

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Near the Museum of Modern Art

January 29, 2014

I’m currently on the train, headed towards Atlanta. In New York, I met up with a Couchsurfer from Dubai. His name was Ahmed. He moved to Manhattan two days prior to get his masters in Business.

The first day we met, we walked throughout Central Park. After an hour or so of walking, we sat down on the cold concrete steps in front of a fountain surrounded by ice sculptures. I began explaining to him why I wanted to  visit Tucson- for the Rock and Gem Show. I told him a street fair came to Eugene last year and I bought an amethyst for the hell of it.  I had an inspiring conversation with the owner of the gem booth. The owner had informed me of the Rock and Gem Show; he swore I should attend before I die. I told the owner, “I’ll see you there!” in the same way I tell my sister, in Italy, that I’ll see her tomorrow.  Just a silly promise, an empty promise. But I have the choice to act on it, and that’s what I’m doing.

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From the top of the Rockefeller Center

Mid sentence, Ahmed interrupted me. “I”m sorry,” he said, “I can’t help myself,” and suddenly brought his face towards mine to kiss me deeply. This stranger… on couchsurfing…who I just met an hour ago. I  thought our conversation was going well but that was the last thing on my mind. I didn’t even get the vibe that he liked me. Life is unpredictable.  I broke away and offered a confused smile.”Wow,” I said.

I get mixed feelings about Ahmed because he has a default form of expression. It doesn’t fluctuate much. It’s hard to know what he’s thinking when there is a lack of emotion behind his words. I don’t know how much I like him because I don’t know how much I understand him. But apparently he’s my boyfriend right now-  ha!  When  I went with my last host to see Isabella’s comedy show, she spoke about how important it is to choose the correct tone and emotion behind what we say.

“Where are you?” and “WHERE ARE YOU?!” make me feel two entirely different ways.

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JP Morgan Museum

I may have an inclination that we’re not compatible with each other- but it is really nice to, for once, attempt to maintain a relationship. And when the other person has such strong, intense feeling for me… Why enter into a relationships I’m unsure about? Why not? I guess I don’t know why not yet.